Submitted By: BB Webb, Carl House
To RSVP or NOT to RSVP is NEVER the question!! So how come no one seems to RSVP these days or if they do, they do so late, often without an apology. I'm wondering in our current fast paced world of email and wireless technology, do people still know the meaning of "RSVP."
The abbreviation, "RSVP," stands for "Répondez, s'il vous plaît," which means, "respond please." (So, "Please RSVP" is redundant, or maybe just emphatic). Please respond then means, "let us know if you can make it to our party or if you can not." In that both the fashion of 'thank you' cards and table conversation have flown by the wayside in our zippy culture, I'm afraid that even "Please RSVP" has lost its meaning.
As a facility owner, I know the heartbreak when a bride and groom have paid for 150 $50.00 meals and only 125 people show. Conversely, I know their heartache when they expect 100 and 127 show. My chef isn't wild about making a double trip to the market and our bride's parents are surely stunned seeing what it costs when last minute food has to be purchased at retail cost and prepared in a hurry.
So here is the deal. I'm clearly not an etiquette specialist, though do believe that being clear is of the essence. Why not include on your invitation, "Please let us know if you will or will not be attending by October 15, 2007." Then include whether this guest is bringing a friend or not and of course include that SASE, oops, "Self Addressed, Stamped Envelope," so it is E-A-S-Y to drop their response card in the mail.
For the really slow birds who still don't get it, pick up the phone and ask them. Plan an evening with an ally and hit the phones to reach the ones who still don't have the courtesy to drop your envelope in the mail. And if you do reach someone on the phone and they are ambivalent, take your opportunity to be clear. "I need to know if you are coming for if you are not, and I mark down that you are coming, your meal and the open bar will cost me $76.00!!!!!" Maybe only I'd go that far, but come on now.
As Georgia O'Keefe said, "Nobody sees a flower really - it is so small- we haven't time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." So be a friend, or choose better ones.
Carl House Owner, BB Webb is a writer, speaker and host of "Living Life with Style,' a local television program highlighting people making a difference in and around Georgia.
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