To See Or Not To See

By Lei Lydle, Founder and Editor Last Updated: 5/9/2008 9:02:24 AM

When in the course of planning a wedding, couples are faced with the question "Are you going to see each other before the ceremony?" Lots of couples are quick to answer "No" when maybe, just maybe, "Yes" could be the preferred answer.

The tradition of "hiding" the bride from the groom, prior to the wedding, comes from the days of arranged marriages when a wedding was merely a business deal between fathers. Things like love and attraction on the part of the bride and groom had nothing to do with it. The groom saw the bride, for the first time, when she walked down the aisle and a veil covered her face. After the minister pronounced them man and wife, the groom then lifted the veil, not only to kiss the bride, but also to see the face he would be waking up to for the rest of his life.

If you are reading this article, you probably already know that a wedding ceremony and reception costs quite a bit of money. For the purposes of this discussion, let's say a wedding day costs a total of $5000 an hour, starting from the beginning of the ceremony until the end of the reception.

If they didn't see each other prior to the ceremony, the bride and groom must stay behind for post ceremony pictures. This usually takes between 45 minutes and an hour. Meanwhile, the guests move on to the reception location and wait for the bride and groom to arrive. At $5000 an hour, we now have an approximately an hour where there is pretty much nothing going on and the bride and groom are separated from their guests.

After post ceremony pictures, the bride and groom get their first wedding day alone time on the ride to the reception. When you actually could have spent what is probably the most romantic day of your life together, in its entirety.

An excellent photographer I work with on occasion, Brian White, arranges a private moment in the church, prior to the ceremony, for the bride and groom to first see each other. The bride walks down the aisle, in her gown and the groom is at the front of the church, she softly calls his name and he turns to see her. When she reaches him they spend a little time completely alone together. Now that's romantic!

If the bride and groom haven't seen each other all day, they also tend to be a little more anxious to leave the reception and have some time to themselves. If they have spent their entire day together, not being deprived of their beloveds company, brides and grooms are far more likely to want to stay for the entire reception and love every minute of it.

This is just another option in customizing your wedding day. Whichever way you choose, your wedding professionals will all work for and with you to make it as wonderful as possible. If I am your DJ and you choose not see each other prior to the wedding, I won't be mad at you, I promise! I just try to offer as many options as I can to help make your day wonderful.

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		Traci from Dothan, AL says...
		After reading this article, especially the part about a private meeting between the bride and groom before the ceremony, it makes me think of not doing the usual, traditional thing to wait to see one another. It is very romantic when you wait, however this is also a nice option which is romantic as well and also helps save time and money, like you mentioned. I believe I'll be using that idea in the future. I love coming on this site and finding new ideas for my future wedding. Thanks for all the great articles!! Wedding Date: Undecided
		Posted: 5/5/2008 4:30:17 PM